Last night a storm came up suddenly in my living room. Driving rain beat against my thoughts, heart, and spirit. A messenger came to warn me who had been in the eye of the storm and I leaned on them a little for support when the wind whipped all around us. Later after the clouds began moving away, lightening fading into the distance, and rumblings echoing their last my mind began to clear. Breathing the cleansed air, my thoughts sharpened and clarified. Validation of what I suspected filtered in. Residual sadness at that reality I became resolute and hollow at the same time. Slowly a calm like in the eye of a tornado settled me down as I realized how my God so perfectly protected me and answered my maelstrom of questions. I was humbled and grateful but still saddened by the ugly disappointing truth. Why am I surprised? I’m all grown up and know how fragile and fallible we human beings are, and our Lord told of all of this. Of how power and money corrupts.
Later in the day, a spiritual sister spoke with me about peace, reminding me again of what I knew, even though I always seem to second guess myself. “If one does not have peace, that is a sign from the Holy Spirit something is wrong”, she said. Many things are wrong. Our God however, is always right.
Praying for things we believe are in alignment with God’s will, we are fervent. If they do not manifest, we are usually disappointed, unless we are spiritually mature enough to detach from our egocentric desires. We may even complain to God or ask why He didn’t make it happen. Previously He may have allowed many things in the same context to go forward, but withheld a particular quest. In our humanity, at least most of us want to know why. So we question our good God, and rather than praying for patience, wander around with stunned looks on our faces, dazed and confused trying to”figure it out”
to be continued